As children grow up, some parents suggest that children don’t listen to them at home. Even worse, some of the children finally have a rebellious mind against their parents in many things. In connection with this issue, I would like to put forward my suggestion: we should give the priority to the mutual respect and trust when we treat our children.
Some parents may think that they should bind their children despite respect and trust, or they will be brought up without disciplines. Therefore, they don’t pay attention to the recounts and demands of the children, and even scold them on inappropriate occasions, which wound children’s esteem and pride remarkably. Children will fear their parents a lot, and would not like to have heart-to-heart talk with them. Nevertheless, some other parents are in the charge of their children, and they would do whatever the children want them to do. They hope the children can obey them through the twisted love. Sometimes, they even make efforts to shield their children’s shortcomings, lie for them, and over-praise them, which can also result in the suppression of their esteem. Once the children discover the fact, they will feel deceived and irritated. The cumulative result is that children will lose their respect and trust for their parents, so they would not be obedient either. Therefore, how should parents do to show their respect and trust for their children? There are some important tips for you.
First, parents should respect the dignity of the children. If they have done something good or accomplish a task well, parents should let them know that they have done it right and encourage them to continue to do it. Certainly, the praise should be proper without any exaggeration, and parents should especially avoid over-praising the children in front of other people. If they have done some detrimental things or just mess it up, parents should give their own opinions and criticisms. Sometimes, they can take some measures to punish the children so that they will learn a lesson from it.
Second, when children are confronted with some difficulties, including those in learning, in living, or in dealing with some trivial matters with their friends, it should be reminded that parents mustn’t do it for them and even scold them as fools. They should evaluate the situation thoroughly, and give them some instructions on how to do things for themselves. The children will have confidence that they can do it and they will make efforts to achieve it. Through this way, children can draw a lot of self-satisfaction and confidence in accomplishing a task.
Third, parents can make children their assistance and adviser. They can consciously conduct discussion over some household matters with the children. When they give good advice or do a great job, remember to thank them and grant some rewards to them. Even if they mess things up, don’t scold them but tell them how to do it correctly.
In all, for the children’s own stuff, as long as they are capable of doing it and should do it, parents should let them do it by themselves. It is harmful if the parents constantly exhibit the “let me do it for you ” behavior towards children. If parents don’t ” rule with a high hand ” and let the children think that their parents are as trustful as their friends and that they are helpful to this family, they will like the family and their parents. They are inclined to have heart-to-heart talk with their parents and always willing to receive their parents’ help. That would be perfect parental control.